Dr. Robert

2006-01-25T17:08:00.000-05:00

Babylon's back.

So is Emil.

E also is part of the FreeDarko movement, who have the best post ever up right now.

Now excuse me while I listen to some Geronimo Jackson.

Go Mets

2005-11-15T17:35:00.000-05:00

I want to laugh at this guy with his arena-fied Neil Young and his "Swiss Army Bass," but he's actually pretty good. Still, one wonders, isn't it easier to just make friends to play the other instruments?

Yerp

2005-11-08T16:49:00.000-05:00

Pink Cookies In A Plastic Bag
Wait, wrong LL reference. It's no matter though, becuase TJ Ford's blazing entrance onto the (you gotta call it a) comeback trail is just about as sweet as the poetically described titular subject of the above-mentioned Cool J ditty.

I honestly thought the little Naismith Award winning dude would never play again, but there he is sonning AI and Jason Kidd on consecutive nights, averaging 1 rebound away from a triple-double, leading the Bucks out to a 3-0 start, and generally being the most exciting point-guard in the League.

Some awesome heavy-metal Bucks fan put together a highlight video, here it is (click 'free' then wait for the DL to appear). Marvel.

Pete's Pond

2005-10-01T10:53:00.000-04:00

I gotta meet Pete, dude's pond is about the coolest place on Earth. AFRICA! (say it in a James Earl Jones voice. Awesome.)

Still Kickin' Around

2005-09-29T18:00:00.000-04:00

Just busy that's all...

Speading Thin

2005-09-20T23:26:00.000-04:00

Since I'm so good at keeping up with two blogs, I figured I'd go ahead and start a third.

All those into numerology, Southern Rock pirates, mapanguari, Adebisi, and assorted castaway cheesecake, please do check out Flight815, a new blog from Chris Lemon-Red, Jon Caraminica, and little-old me.

A Warm Wet Nipple

2005-09-17T08:55:00.000-04:00

Due to Babylon priorites, I've been gone for a minute, and probably won't be back too frequently in the near future, so I thought I'd reward my faithful clckers with the hottest shit I've heard in a long time. This...

new hour+ DJ Shadow mix

...is absolutely stupendous. David Banner/Birdman, Crime Mobb/Common, Silkk the Shocker, Too Short, "Random Rap," Terry Gross (say what?!) etc...

Savor. Dude is still doing it, and doing it well.

The only thing that makes me happier than this mix are the rumors that Shadow's next production project is a certain big scary/spiritual dude from Misssisippi.

Done.

2005-09-11T18:06:00.000-04:00

Let's Do This

2005-09-09T20:07:00.000-04:00

Two Cats, One Dog...

2005-09-08T21:49:00.000-04:00

...and a Richard Pryor Boxed Set

NOLA musicians are settling into Austin, for a little while at least. TX is stepping up big time on the hospitality front. Keep it up y'all, wish I was there to help.
Some dude in Mississippi walked up to Dick Cheney and put his evil ass on blast.
A Will Ferrell/Ali G NASCAR flick? Sounds promising.
Philly ain't ready for Monday night. ATL stand up!

A Handful of Change and a Degree of Determination

2005-09-07T20:25:00.000-04:00

I love TEXAS football, and am firmly convinced we're gonna stomp a mudhole in Ohio State's ass on the upcoming epic Saturday night, but this Bill Little shill is still the worst, most sacharine, cliched writer of all time. Excuse me while I throw up through my nose. Think that's bad? You should read the bullshit he spews when the 'Horns lose one.
Purple Drank (whose GA Girls photo essay/article thing in the recent White Stripes/Damian Marley FADER might as well have been an epic poem about South Atlanta--prom dress on the suburban track-mansion deck like what!) posted this up a while back, and I forgot about it, but ATL folks are gonna love this exhaustive retrospective of all Monica Kaufman's many hair-do's. Old bird used to live across the street from my boy Ian, and even shopped at the Kroger when I was 16 and ~~working there~~ robbing them blind.
I often refer to boring blogs that are all, "so then my awesome friend Sara called and we had the most hilarious conversation while Sammy (my cat, isn't he the cutest!) lay on my face, yakk, yakk, what's the fucking point already?" as "What I Had For Dinner" blogs, but my erudite friend Luisa's Wednesday's Chef blog actually is about what she had for dinner, and it's great. That's what I'm talking about, y'all. Focus. Words are making me fucking hungry.
Finally, big up to the Onion for keeping their sense of humor yet not pulling any punches about the worst thing I've ever seen.

Making Money, Counting Hundreds

2005-09-06T19:06:00.000-04:00

On a grind all day. Babylon is back. Getting some press shine too. Peep today's NY Sun ~~(you gotta subscribe to read the whole thing, but~~ if you're local you can buy the rag for only a quarter!

The Truth

2005-09-03T18:10:00.000-04:00

A little shaky, but Kanye speaks truth to power.
O-Dub, without the burden of being nervous and emotional on live TV, expounds further on Katrina and race and class.
Johnny Cash Red Cross ads here and here. I dare you to watch these and not pull out your wallet.
NO Mayor Ray Nagin is pissed and not mincing words.
CNN has been really on top of and pointed with the government about their lack of timely and adaquate response to the hurricane. Even Anderson Cooper (Carson Daly the grey) went off on a senator on live TV; "I'm sick of hearing politicians congratulate and thank each other when these people have been without food and water for days." Check this article comparing what incompetant FEMA chief Mike Brown says and what others are reporting.
The Feds aren't allowing the Red Cross into New Orleans. Unacceptable.

Pump Chumps

2005-09-02T11:19:00.000-04:00

Folks are coming together and doing their part to raise money for relief. People on Soulstrut are auctioning some amazing records, with all profits going to hurricane victims. They've raised over $7000 already. Emil is donating any and all money raised ~~last night~~ TONIGHT (Philly area people better represent!) at his DJ gig. Schools around the country are doing "shoebox drives." The Red Cross has raised almost $20 million. People are opening their homes. Celebrities are donating millions out of their pockets. Home Depot is matching in-store donations up to $1 million. Shit, even evil corporate behomoth Walmart donated $17 mil.

What about Big Oil? Exxon alone banked over a $7.6 billion profit in the last fiscal quarter. So how much did Exxon pledge so far? A whopping $2 million. Two. Million. That's the same amount as the combined gifts of Diddy and Jay Z, individuals, who--despite considerable success (and some posturing) as rap artists and executives--have never seen close to $7 billion between the two of them. Chevron donated a comparatively large $5 million, which (assuming their quarterly profits are also in the $7 billion dollar range) is about 1/15th of what these guys are profiting in a single day.

But they've got to repair their refineries and rigs which took extensive damage! You cry, fictional Big Oil apologist reader. It's all insured, and with the profits these companies are bringing in with the current oil and gas prices, they'll have plenty of loot (if perhaps not quite enough actual oil) to burn.

Step the fuck up Big Oil! Hell, America is fighting a war or two around the world in order to insure your continued profitability (thus depleting the precautions, manpower and resources we have here at home in order to alleviate this disaster,) the least you could do is give more than a (pretty sorry) token back.

Update: Exxon has generously offered to up their donation to $7 million, which my rudimentary math figures to be about 1/12th of the amount of profits they'll take in TODAY (and that's not taking into account that profits have undoubtedly gone up since the hurricane. Misers.

Random Katrina Related Thoughts:

The government (such as it is) needs to let folks loot. Rescue and evacuate everybody you can. Property loss should not be a priority.
People criticizing looters on principal need to think long and hard about what they'd do in a lawless infrastructure-less situation. You take what you need, then you take what you can and hope it comes in handy.
Air Force 1s are unlikely to come in handy when you're thigh-deep in filthy, toxic flood-waters.
There's a fine line between "looting" and "finding." That line is called racism.
New Orleans was dangerous and scary as Hell before this storm. The fact that gunshots are popping off and vicious crimes are being committed, in many ways, is just another night in the NOLA.
That said, people that are shooting at rescue workers are sick and misguided.
That said, N.O. police force (widely reported to be looting and marauding themselves) is the most corrupt big city police force in the country and has been forever. You can't blame folks for not trusing them.
Finally, one more time for the deaf and blind; the fact that individuals are sacrificing and donating to help Katrina victims is heart-warming, the fact that corporations (to varying degrees) are stepping up and donating is reassuring, the fact that our government (who take half my damn paycheck in taxes every two weeks) is unable to take care of this shit on their own and must depend upon what President Bush calls the "Armies of Compassion," because they're pouring hundreds of billions in money and manpower and equipment into an unjust war no-one wants, is sickening.

Yikes

2005-08-30T18:23:00.000-04:00

The Tuna puts ~~Katrina~~FEMA on blast.

I got a real bad feeling in my stomach when I heard earlier today that the levee broke in New Orleans. I've got people down there. They were lucky enough to be able to evacuate, but it looks like their homes will be gone. To everybody there, and all along the Gulf Coast, our hearts are with you. Damn.

'Scrips:

Let's just go ahead and declare it the Summer of Wayne. I already told you dude was on The World, now check out the positive pub in the Boston Phoenix. Big up.
This Spike Lee endorsed "Confederate States of America" flick looks sociologically interesting (and maybe even funny) but historically retarded. Ignoring the fact that slavery was on economically shaky legs even before the war and surely wouldn't have lasted until today, wouldn't a more interesting premise have been to suppose that the South was able to secede and form their own nation (which is what they were after, after all) and not that the whole country would have become Confederate?
For the insensitive and heartless among you, this is sick but funny Craigslist Katrina-related humor.

A Dirty Shame

2005-08-28T11:01:00.000-04:00

The new John Waters flick, A Dirty Shame, which due to its NC-17 rating didn't see theatrical release and was banned from Blockbuster, is a fucking riot; as slick as his more recent stuff, but just as filthy and outrageous as Pink Flamingos (noting of course, that nothing could ever be as filthy and outrageous as the talking sphinctor butthole dance*).

The casting is brilliant. Tracy Ullman is incredible, Selma Blair has the best fake fake-tits ever, Chris Isaac makes a great square, and even Johnny Knoxville is great as a beatific sex-addict. Mink Stole and the rest of Waters' regulars are top-notch as usual. Track this joint down or else we'll all know what a neuter you are.

B-More free with your sexualities y'all.

*If anybody has a clip of this, please share... oom-bow-bow-oom-ba-oom-bow-bow...

Damn Them Thangs

2005-08-26T14:41:00.000-04:00

Theo knows what's up. (credit MilkmanDan for the gif)

Nothing to say here.

Matt Jones is a freak of nature; 6'6" and runs a sub-4.4/40. Druing their beatdown at the hands of the mighty Falcons, Leftwich kept tossing 'em up for Jones to go get, and he did. Not bad for a fucking hippie.
Speaking of, Gerald Green is the Jerry Garcia of the NBA.
There's a war going on inside the heart and mind of Ricky Williams.
Loquacious Wayne is making moves. Check dude out on NPR's "The World" dropping that Reggaeton knowledge.
Where are those fascist Utah stormtroopers when you need them? Idiots.

Speak No

2005-08-25T15:21:00.000-04:00

Don't let me catch you in one of these...

Hate Scions 'cause they're ugly? Hate Scions 'cause they perpetuate played-out backpacker aesthtics? Hate Scions 'cause they're exploiting a subculture to make that money?

All valid resons. I'm gonna go ahead and hate them 'cause they censored Bavu Blakes.

Country Boys, but Players Too

2005-08-25T14:49:00.000-04:00

Huge thanks to whoever had the ingenuity and focus to pair two of my favorite people in the world, Vince Young and Bubba Sparxxx, on this stupendous highlight video. (I ain't mad at Luba Luba either, though I would have preferred some T.I.P.)

Out In The 'Net, They Call It Murder

2005-08-24T09:10:00.000-04:00

The neighborhood of West Campus, Austin, TX is about as college (big state university style) as you can get. White kids with well-worn baseball caps in shiney new SUVs with Jerry Jeff Walker and/or Sublime stickers. Hemp necklaced girls and guys cruising by on shiney new Gary Fisher or Rockhopper mountain bikes. Big columned frat-house mansions with manicured lawns. A few rat-trap apartment and co-op complexes for the hippies and hipsters and various hipster vegan type kids. Lots of large, new, pre-fab looking condo complexes. Grande Mart convenience store where two randy Pakistani brothers have been selling booze to under-age co-eds (and kegs to their boyfriends) for two decades now.

This neighborhood--wealthy, idyllic, ridiculous--was the scene of a gruesome murder on Monday. Colton Pitonyak, a 22 year-old douchebag ex-frat boy drug dealer shot a girl named Jennifer Cave to death in her condo. Then he drove over to the local over-priced chi-chi hardware store and bought industrial strength 55 gallon drum liners, rubber gloves, carpet cleaner, and a hacksaw.

He hacked her into pieces and then either lost the stomach for the clean-up or was interrupted, because he disappeared, and that's how her body was found, shot, stabbed and chopped up.

Authorities traced a call made on his cell-phone to somewhere in Mexico, and dude was on the run. In the midst of this manhunt someone tracked Colton the killer down on online college social network Facebook, where he had all kinds of creepy quotes and mob-movie appreciation things going on. Typical wannabe gangsta frat-boy drug-dealer steez, except we know dude had made his fantasies reality. Creepy.

He also belonged to a number of French-speaking clubs, fueling speculation that he might be fluent in Spanish (and thus much harder to catch South of the Border) as well, or at least on his way to Martinique.

Then somebody noticed that our violent fugitive frat-boy was logged-in to Facebook from somewhere in Mexico and had even updated in the time after the murder. Holy shit. So wrong. Not just creepy; super-nerd creepy. Internet beef has calories too!

Mexican authorities caught the manpris-wearing guy yesterday and sent him back to Texas.

Further complicating matters is the fact that he was with an ex-girlfriend, Laura Hall, who wasn't charged with anything. Was she kidnapped? Coerced? Unaware? Maybe, but her Facebook profile is pretty creepy in it's own right. Under "Additional Info:" she wrote, "I should really be more of a horrific person. Its in the works." Woah. Sounds like they were on some '05 Bonnie and Clyde ish to me. Hell, maybe she killed the girl and dude was only trying to help her cover it up.

Update: She has now updated her Facebook profile to say, "Colton's innocent. He's the most generous, kindest person that I have even been blessed to spend time with."

UPDATE!!!: Some guy named "pimpology" over on Hornfans is in the midst of an IM conversation with Laura Hall. This is so super-secret-internet-google-cheat-codes, that I'm beside myself. I can't wait to live-chat with dude live from Death Row dude while he's waiting for the needle.

Update (8/27): Hall has been arrested for helping Pitonyak escape.

(9/29): Here's the arrest warrant for Laura Hall. "That's just how I roll," the poor confused little murderess stated when asked how she could help Pitonyak. Sounds like she's been hanging out at a few too many "Kill Whitey" parties.

A TV movie, no doubt, will let us know soon enough.

Excuse me while I go throw up.

Back in the Game 'Scrips:

Loquacious Wayne, doing a terrible job of dispelling the myth that Harvard folks are smarter than the rest of us, is back from the Cape.
B-More is so depressing. The Police Chief's daughter is a crack-whore.
I have no idea what the story behind this fascist police action at a Utah rave is. Anybody?
Is it September yet?

We Out...

2005-08-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

Chillin'...

Outta town for a couple of days. Gearing up for big things in September. While I'm gone, check out the folks to the right plus these guys below who ought to be on the blog-roll and would be already if I wasn't too lazy to update...

Part 2: Hawk, the Stripper, and two 'Steaks Wit'

2005-08-17T11:17:00.000-04:00

Cont. from Monday...
As the summer wore on and the little skeeze intensified her efforts to ensnare my friend in her smooth-skinned, skinny-legged little trap, he came up with a plan; he would fuck her, but he wouldn’t tell Hawk.

That plan was quickly scrapped. Shooter was a thoughtful young man, enamored of psychedelics and Buddhism, and could not forsake the path of truth. He would fuck her, but he would first ask Hawk if it was cool.

“So, uhh, Hawk,” Shooter began one evening over Yeungling’s and bong-rips. “[Forgettably Named Skeezer]’s a real cool girl, uhh…”

“Yeah, bol, she’s cool. She a freak, though, nahmean?”

“Heh-heh,” Shooter forced a laugh as he coughed out a lung-full of smoke. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t kno... uhh, really?”

“Yeah, man, you know wha’msayin’! Ha!” Hawk winked as he pulled a massive tube.

Shooter grinned, squinting and nodding his head and letting little snorts escape his nose every few seconds. Yes, he thought, I know exactly what you’re saying, Hawk, exactly.

“So I, uhh, I got the green-light then?”

The stylized coy inked on his tricep rippled as Hawk slowly put down the bong.

“Huh?”

Suddenly, Shooter felt very high.

“The green-light, the all-clear, to, you know to, uhh…” Shooter bit his lip and pumped his fist in a half-hearted “gettin’-it-on” gesture.

“The fuck you say?” Hawk stood up, cocking his head at Shooter.

It took Shooter a couple of seconds to figure out exactly what had just happened. He was confused and couldn’t believe he had misread the situation so completely, then he was angry. It wasn’t as if he had actually done anything disrespectful.

He hadn’t. In fact, if anything, he was being overly respectful by asking permission at all. Yeah. He could have just hit that shit one afternoon and Hawk never would have been the wiser. Shit, every afternoon. Just taking that willowy, satin-skinned, little tramp and sticking his fingers in her glossy-lipped little mouth and wrapping those long-ass legs around…

“Nah, man. That’s my jawn, dawg. Hell no.”

Shooter was again forced to assess the situation at hand. Hawk was up and in his face and ready to rumble.

This is bullshit, he thought, and began to grow angry himself.

He stood, banging his knee on the coffee table and knocking over a Yuengling as he did so, but still managing to look something approximating threatening.

“I didn’t touch your jawn, who is a dirty little slut by the way, and…”

Shooter was interrupted by a crash of broken glass and splitting wood and a scream of terror from the front room. He and Hawk ran out there (both secretly relieved their throw-down had been forgotten) to see a bearded, emaciated, man from the mental–institution standing amidst the shattered remnants of their front-door wearing only a diaper, with a crack-pipe in his mouth and a squirrel on his shoulder.

In each hand he held a steaming, greasy paper-wrapped cheese-steak.

“You’se guys hungry? We got extras…”

Next borough my ass.

Like Serg Always Say: Clickity Clack Yerself Before You Rack Yerself:

Scoop Jackson manages to squeeze references to both Run-n-Shoot and Magic City* into this cynical piece on the Hawks situation. I sure hope dude is wrong about Joe Johnson being the next Joe Smith.
This would be funnier if it was real, but it's still good for a laugh. Prepare for downcount: 5...4...3...1...Offblast!
Jim Jones handwritten diary entries. Fucking retarted.
Ohio State Buckeyes say they're ballers, but they're acting like some bitches. I smell... (sniff, sniff) football.

*C'mon, Matt Wright from AOL CityGuide, who isn't "looking for a high-power night of nubian nudity"?

Hawk, the Stripper, and two 'Steaks Wit'

2005-08-15T12:13:00.000-04:00

I haven't been to ~~Philly~~The Next Borough except for a couple of days back in the summer of '96 or '97 when my boy Shooter lived there in a rough-ass spot (South side?) next-door to a mental institution. This crazy-house was pretty low-security and actually left a gate open during the day so the bolder of the residents could step out and wander the sidewalks cackling maniacally and talking to the squirrels and shit.

Shooter lived with a big, black, tatted-up mover dude named Hawk and Hawk's stripper girlfriend. I can't remember her name but it might as well have been T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Little jawn would act all quiet and angelic while Hawk was around, but as soon as he left she'd start prancing around in her underwear, sitting with her legs all spread, sucking on lolli-pops, dancing to Bone Thugz CDs, and generally trying to seduce every dude she laid eyes on, especially Shooter who was alone in the house with her nearly every afternoon. It was clear that the express purpose of these flirtations and seductions was so that she could sit back and watch, feeling sexy and desirable, when Hawk inevitably got home and whupped the shit out of whoever was unlucky enough to fall for her whiles.

My boy was friends with Hawk, had no love of violence or drama, and did his best to keep his distance, avoiding all advances and generally behaving towards this little tramp with an aloof air of gentlemanly respect. He wanted to fuck her real bad though.

As the summer wore on and the little skeeze intensified her efforts to ensnare my friend in her smooth-skinned, skinny-legged little trap, he came up with a plan.
to be cont.

Monday Bonus 'Scrips:

This + Sandwich = LUV: This girl has serious skills. Skills.
Crackers: Some idiot OU student "forgot" he had a pipe-bomb in his luggage. Thing is, I believe him. Fucking Okies.
Sloganeering: I'm thinking about getting into advertising. How's this? Hummer H3, my other car is a Porsche 944! (Does this qualify me for unofficial TATs crew status? Seriously, NICER, BG, holla at a blogger!)
Bounce Bounce: fi5e and his lady have put together a video of the recent Clap Your Hands Say Yeah show at the South Street Sea Port. Even if you're not feeling BK's next big Talking Heads redux, you're gonna love the stockbroker who can't stop wylin' the fuck out.
Fall in the Urr?: Y'all ready for September? Ohio State watch out.

Fat Man Scoops

2005-08-11T12:43:00.000-04:00

Fat Ass:
Watch a fat man grope Vida Guerra in a hot-tub. Spanish language television is light-years ahead of the rest of us.

Fat Actress:
I snickered, I laughed, I guffawed, I snorted. Wedding Crashers was great, but am I the only one wondering why the boys didn't crash a black wedding? I kept waiting for an "electric slide with plus-size aunt" scene.

Fat Pad:
Micheal Jordan's crib is huge, but it's not as sweet as Bill Gates' place. Damn.

Fat Head:
It looks like the Joe Johnson/Belkin debacle is now in Commisioner Stern's hands. Stern is an evil tyrant, but I actually think he might decide in the Hawks favor on this one, just for the chance to flex and screw over an owner.

Fuck Steve Belkin

2005-08-10T11:55:00.000-04:00

This Joe Johnson situation is starting to get me really fucking salty. To recap as briefly as possible for those of you who don't follow or give a shit about the Atlanta Hawks...

JJ had a very good season as the 2-guard and the third/fourth option on a spectacular Phoenix Suns team and was a restricted free-agent.
Phoenix said they'll match any offer made on him, meaning they've got him on lock if they want.
The Atlanta Hawks--who have sucked for a long time and haven't really been relevant since they traded Dominique Wilkins for washed-up loser Danny Manning while they were in 1st place and 'Nique was having a career season--have some promising young talent in Josh Smith, Josh Childress, Marvin Williams, and Royal Ivey. They need a point guard and a big man, and they need some veteran leadership.
ATL made a big offer, $70+ million for 5 years.
PHX offered to match.
JJ who perhaps wants to play point and to garner a little more shine than the stocked Suns could provide, said you know what Phoenix, it's been fun, but I want out.
Hawks and Suns worked out a sign and trade; same $70 million for Joe plus Boris Diaw (who is an absolutely worthless basketball player) and two "lottery protected" first round draft picks.
That's a lot for Joe Johnson. But the Hawks have been rebuilding forever and need to get better now. Cap-space doesn't do anybody any good if you don't use it.
The deal was vetoed by Steve Belkin, the most powerful of a loosely connected consortium of Hawks owners known as Atlanta Spirit.
The sleeping giant that is the Hawks fan-base was incensed.
The other owners took Belkin to court. GM Billy Knight came and said Belkin is a straight sucker and a cheap-skate and doesn't give a fuck about the Hawks.
Belkin won.

What's next? An appeal, I guess, and a public outcry against Belkin. Belkin seems like he doesn't give a fuck if the rest of the Hawks organization and the entire city of Atlanta hate him, though, so perhaps more drastic measures are in order.

I say we send your favorite rapper's favorite rapper (and favorite trapper's favorite trapper) to blow his fucking head off, and then you let Josh Smith put on a dunk show with it out on some ATL blacktop. Some real Run n' Shoot for that ass. Who's with me? Regulators, mount up!

Of Birds and Dogs and Death

2005-08-09T11:34:00.000-04:00

It's so awful it's... mesmerizing.

A recent discussion about the sordid/storied realm of Norwegian Black Metal (these dudes make 3-6 Mafia look like MC Tickle Me Elmo) led to mention of Hatebeak, who, for those unfamiliar, are a Death Metal band whose lead-singer is an African Grey Parrot* named Waldo.

Well, wouldn't you know, in the course of Hatebeak related research I have uncovered yet another band of cross-species Death Rockers. Not only is Caninus fronted by two mean looking Pit Bull Terriers**, but the rest of the band is made up of Mole People! This is quite possibly, and I don't say this lightly, the realest shit ever.

*Don't worry, PETA people, they don't perform live because that would hurt Waldo's little parrot ears.
**Again, animal lovers don't fret, the dogs were rescued from shelters.

Overload

2005-08-07T12:38:00.000-04:00

Would this man stab you with a pen-knife?

Pile on. This awesome Deathray Davies video featuring Kumar "Pagoda" Pallana has already been on Screenhead and USA Today's "Hip Clicks" (Yep, inevitably, even USA Today has a blog,) but can the tiny but scrappy Glurp servers handle the Dr. Robert effect? Only one way to find out; get clicking y'all. Buy some records while you're at it.

Click the 'Scrips:

Big respect and thanks for all the music to Ibrahim Ferrer who died at age 78. The man had a gift.
Remember Solomon Tat, that Nigerian brick-worker/rim-wrecker kid who I said was gonna commit to Texas? I was wrong. Looks like he's going to UGA now. Hunker down, Solomon, I ain't mad atcha.
Lang breaks down what's going on with this Joe Johnson fiasco in ATL. This Belkin dude needs to hit the curb and fast, all real Hawks fans know we need JJ.
I got cable on Friday. I haven't stopped watching "Being Bobby Brown" since. Dude knows how to party.

Even If You Hate Me

2005-08-05T10:08:00.000-04:00

I'm consistently amazed with the quality and depth of the writing over at Wayne and Wax. My man Wayne breaks down and explains what makes music what it is (and then expounds upon the cultural implications thereof) with a facility and a clarity that is straight astounding. This piece about Reggaeton is a prime example.

Fri-day!

Emil (who sleeps less than all y'all beauty-rest Herbs) already linked this up, but inspirational defiance in the face of looming oppression is bigger than this blog shit. Banksy rocks the West Bank! I've seen that "girl floating free with baloons" piece before, but unattributed... should've known.
Watch this dude play Eddie Van Halen's "Eruption" on the violin. It's pretty faithful to the original (ie a little screechy and long) but well worth it for the big Kinks riff at the end.
Gotta go, it's my gurl's birthday, ans we got big plans. Remember baby, you deserve the best and more, you done been through it all. I STILL LOVE YOU SHAWTY!

Source Codes & Tags

2005-08-04T12:02:00.000-04:00

Apparently my recent blog-related depression, is not an isolated incident. That's okay though, I'm over it, besides, now I have a new internet thing to fret my nerdy ass over: I need to step my source-code game up. As if the Google listing isn't dope enough, open the page and "view source"... ASCII tag!

You've Got a Fever:

Street Art Blows! Agree. Disagree.
Exit Instant Replays. Enter The Off-Color Commentator. (How did no-one else come up with that handle yet? Classic.)
I'm jacking another link from the Fader (this time on purpose.) This Zakk Wylde tribute video to his dead homie Dimebag Darrell is fucking awesome, employing every metal ballad cliche you can imagine, yet obviously heartfelt as all Hell. A theory: The "Pet Semetary-meets-Stand By Me subplot in the forest" is not "nonsensical," it is metaphor for young Zakk and Darell's journey (descent?) from punk little BMX riding kids into the deep, dark, goat-sacrificing world of serious Metal motherfuckers.
Relive your lost youth; play the Oregon Trail. Shit is real. Be a banker, buy your shit, get there easy. Be a farmer, start off broke, DIE OF DYSENTERY!

China-rico, Ho!

2005-08-03T18:13:00.000-04:00

Somebody's about to get smacked...

A multi-round, bench-clearing brawl broke out in the middle of a Puerto Rico/China international b-ball game over there in China. Word is the Sinostines laid the smack down on the Boriqua, but Yao never even left the bench. China not soft, Yao is! What happened Yao, you used to be cool, man...

YAO STILL COOL!!

Click the 'Scrips:

This Sony/Spitzer Payola Scam fallout has trickled all the way out to Texas, hit Austin, and I couldn't be happier. I like Lucinda Williams just fine, but Bob Schneider is a stupendous douche (and a terrible painter). Two Elton John tix to play his shitty frat-funk, singer-songwriter, dumped by Sandra Bullock crap? I'd have charged a lot more than that.
Poplicks brings word of a life-size, bulged-crotch, Japanese R Kelly doll. Weird, weird Japanese. In further aRruh news, here's a Cliff's Notes version of the Trapped in the Closet saga. There's really no limit to the creative possibilities that might spring forth from this Trapped well of inspiration.

Austinpunksoreal

2005-08-02T11:02:00.000-04:00

"xeroxed and potato-printed"

RIP Dixon. The unnamed man who died in this somewhat mysterious drowning (was it an electrocution?) was Dixon ~~Colburne~~ Coulbourne, THE major documentor of Austin's punk scene from '79 to '86 with his Idle Time zine. Some of the pictures and zine-pages he has archived are absolutely amazing. Big Boys. Dicks. Butthole Surfers...

Slam-dancing to the Circle Jerks at the Ritz, back when they actually had bands there.
Rank and File (yep, that's a crazy young Alejandro Escovedo on the right).
Trouble Funk??!!

Rest in Peace, Dixon. With this, plus the murder of Ram (of legendary San Antonio punk-rock dive Taco Land fame,) the old gaurd of TX punk is starting to disappear, in violent fashion no less.

Update: This new Statesman article has a little more info on Dixon and his death.

Self Hate

2005-08-01T14:15:00.000-04:00

I really need to step my blog-game up. I haven't written anything of substance over at Mr. Babylon for almost a month, that "Warren G Week" story I mentioned this morning was on the Fader blog 3 days ago, and I somehow completely missed this amazing college-football-team-as-rapper post last week over at Sexy-Results. That Sexy-Results piece kinda reminds of these old AG "articles." (That Superbowl thing is especially funny because the Pats actually ended up winning that game.)

Geography

2005-08-01T10:09:00.000-04:00

The Doggs, Nate and Snoop respectively, with the G, Warren.

213. The mayor of Long Beach, CA has officially declared that since, "he got the sound for your ass that it's easy to see that this here week be Warren G* Week." She didn't actually say that, but still, has it ever been any more obvious what a herb** Bloomberg is?

Geography 'Scrips:

512. To quote my man EZ, yuppie bastards ruining Austin. I always wanted a pet goat, and this goat is one of those badass satan-looking types. They should shut down that shitty (though aptly named) fake Mexican joint Guero's, and let the goat have the run of the place.
Next Level. Yancan drum! This guy demonstrates how to use the keyboard drums and then some. My man GOES THE FUCK OFF.

DC. I'm turning off the "no shameless celebrity gossip" filter for a second here because this Kiefer Sutherland ~~drunk~~ blasted and horny story is pretty damn good. A friend of mine in LA told me a very similar story once, only his ended with Kiefy Kief and some big, gay, tatted up bartender shirtless and making out on the bar. The lesson here, fellas, is always proceed with caution when another dude starts complimenting your shirt. If he calls it a "top," run.
Netherworld. I've written before about Revs and his legendary underground diary, written in spraypaint, paragraph by paragraph, throughout the Subway tunnels and other deep, dark, dangerous places in NYC. These crazy Urban Explorer guys run into Revs stuff--roller tags, wheat-pastes, whatever--in every nasty hole they crawl into, and now they've found the fabled 1st page.

*Y'all know Warren produced The Chronic right?
**I'm officially bringing back "herb" (pronounced like the name not the aromatic kind of plant you gotta buy in bunches or dimesacks) as my epithet of choice for doofus type dudes.

Gimme de Morning Ride

2005-07-26T18:43:00.000-04:00

King Yellow

More bullets...

Darko may soon be free. The Pistons are shopping the big kid, and my first thought (like yours I'm sure, dear reader) was ATL baby! Surrusly tho, the Hawks are young, rebuilding, exciting, and they need a big man. How much fun would it be to tune and see how Darko was doing?
Lang at Slam had the same thought.
NYC people, the legendary Yellowman is playing tonight at SOB's. Unless you lost your love 'pon de queen's highway, there's really no excuse not to be there.
I drove my pop's old car up from the Dirty South and now have wheels. Spent the wknd in Rhode Island (the Ocean State, shit is real) at the beach, gave the old girl a rest yesterday, and today took the dog down to Prospect Park and then did some major grocery shopping. I'm all about mass transit and Mother Earth and all that, but shit is convenient. Hey, at least I get that good milage.

Back...

2005-07-25T18:38:00.000-04:00

My return to blogging shall be a tentative, bulleted, one.

Dave at Sleepnotwork has been a really shitty blogger ever since he went to grad-school in Nebraska or whatever, but he's been FUCKING KILLING IT RAT-A-TAT BOOM MOTHERFUCKER ever since he got to Tokyo. Hear what the man is saying.
The Reign Man is getting in shape and says he will return. I hope so, dude was one of the all-time nastiest, and it always pisses me off the way the sports-media treats dudes with drug-problems like their own fat typewriter asses aren't drinking 12-packs and popping Viagra nightly so they can screw their fat Adderol and Valium-ed out wives. (The part about him talking real fast and animated-like did make me a little nervous though).
This video which I think is by Chris Cunningham is really, really, scary.

Questions

2005-07-13T21:36:00.000-04:00

This album could have been a classic.

Anybody out there remember ATL ~~black-~~rock legends Follow For Now? Incredible band. I cut my nascent stage-diving teeth at their shows when I was just a little punk kid, sneaking out (or worse, having to have my parents pick me up outside the club).

Their album (above, the only picture I could find) was a little meh, mostly because the dipshit producers mixed Enrique's drums into nothing. Rumors say they actually got some studio-hack to over-dub the beats. Guess they couldn't handle the fire.

Then Chrysalis went belly-up, and FFN were done. David Harris is still around, touring with John Mayer (no comment). What happened to everybody else? I used to see Billy up at the Patty Hut, and I think one of the dudes worked at Fellini's for awhile. I'm calling it; reunion time.

Query 'Scrips:

Terrapin in trouble? Gary Williams pulls a Larry Eustachy.
Gerald Green making the Celtics look smart. When's the last time you saw something like this in the Garden?
Icelandic people believe in Elves. So do these losers. I kinda believe the Icelandic folks. Remember the Sugarcubes?

Rim Wrecker

2005-07-10T13:14:00.000-04:00

Tat on the rise.

So the 'Horns have secured a verbal commitment from this kid with the coolest name ever, Solomon Tat. Kid is built like a brick shithouse and has never lifted a weight in his life. How's that? He grew up building brick shithouses for his old man's brick company in Nigeria.

Watch him wreck these rims and listen to the camera-man holler. Woah-o-ahh-aaaahhhhh-aahh!

Rim Wreck
Steal and Hammer-down
Coast to Coast Through the Lane

With the new CBA, we don't have to worry about this kid going straight to the League like CJ Miles just did, but the Times says there might be a whole new set of non-college options available to him and OJ Mayo (2nd coolest name ever) and the rest of their highly-ranked kind.

Never Mind

2005-07-09T13:11:00.000-04:00

The sun is shining. Weather is Sweet. Go outside NYC.

Rainy Wknd 'Scrips

2005-07-09T00:01:00.000-04:00

Could be worse, huh NYC? Real-time Dennis imagery.

-FLA peeps watch out. Cuba and Haiti already got there's.

-Speaking of Florida. Diplo at a school dance is priceless. The big aureolas and GI Joe "More You Know" dancehall remix are just bonuses.

-The only place where New York is still New York; abandoned parks in NYC.

-This dude is so gay, gay-dudes makes fun of him for being gay. Gay.

-Remember that sour-looking chick with all the sweaters? She's got a music-video.

-Subtle Lesbianism in Female Sports, a photo-essay.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

2005-07-07T13:00:00.000-04:00

They came in the night. Trucks rumbling, breaks screaming, gates and plywood crashing. Carnies. Tribe after tribe of them. They've taken over my entire block.

Their death-trap rides and rip-off amusements slumber idly in the street.

They are cultish, erecting strange idols to their Saints.

They built a fucking clam-bar mere feet from my front steps.

Tonight it begins and will continue for two weeks.

Two weeks.

At some point great burly goombahs will sweat and grunt and carry this crazy tower up and down the street.

Oh my God ... a Rubber!

2005-07-06T14:59:00.000-04:00

If, like me, you kinda slept-on this whole R Kelly "Trapped in the Closet" saga, don't stress. You can now watch the entire R&Bidiculous 5-part drama-drenched mini-movie. (MTV video ish doesn't work in Firefox, so dust off that IE.) Epic.

Woodgrain I'm Grippin.

2005-07-06T14:49:00.000-04:00

Need a hobby? Build your own Woodgrain iPod. (Credit mrMyke for the custom hippie menu.)

Here Comes the Hotstepper

2005-07-05T13:54:00.000-04:00

Intelligent discourse going down. Not here. Elsewhere. Two interesting debates going on right now about political consciousness (for lack of a better term) in music.

1. Emil has some issues with Nick Catchdubs' Saul Williams"Real Niggery" mixtape and its use of "commercial/gangsta" beats, when Saul has often been vocally critical of all that gunsdrugsthugsbottlesofbub stuff. Nick (and others) respond* here and here Who knows, maybe Saul will drop by the Hollerboard too?

2. Meanwhile, over at Wayne and Wax, W&W and one of his students are delving into all kinds of issues surrounding Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley's "Welcome to Jamrock" and the fact that not only are Damian and his Reggae royal brothers (even more so than other "brown boys") living very comfortably as a part of the elite they're criticizing, but the ghetto they celebrate, in what might be considered a "noble savage" sort of way, often isn't feeling them and their kind at all. Got it?

There is no debate, by the way, that Jamrock is the hottest track** of the summer.

*Saul Williams as T.I.P. fan makes me happy.
**Since every review of "Jamrock" makes cryptic mention of the Ini Kamoze track it samples, I figured I'd be a dude and link it up for you. Enjoy.

America

2005-07-04T12:06:00.000-04:00

Fuck Yeah!!!

Happy Independence Day y'all. Party for your right to fight.

Dark Days

2005-07-01T13:40:00.000-04:00

The Nine will soon ride again...

-O'Conner out, Rehnquist can't be far behind. With two new fascists on the court, things could get really nasty 'round hurr.

-Was there a Dipset imposter at S.O.B.'s? This reminds me of the time my homie in Scotland figured out that "DJ Assault" was playing two different spots at the same time.

-Still no answers for CJ Miles or Louis Williams, but it's starting to look like their desire to play in the League NOW, before they're ready, is gonna absolutely screw their futures. The D-League is a black hole. Go to school, dudes! College is fun. You won't have to study. You will get mad pussy. Don't screw this up!

The Pain

2005-06-30T20:47:00.000-04:00

Little dude was my hero...

The Sports Guy's Intern on the pain* of being a Hawk's fan. I was right there with him until he said he wanted Chris Paul. I've got three words to describe that kid; O.ver.rated.

*It should be noted here that, despite the Hawks' moribund ways of late, they are the only NBA team ever to have three different Dunk Contest champions. And all three were total badasses. No weak Brent Barry, Dee Brown, Kenny Walker bullshit here. Spud, 'Nique, and Josh Smith are easily top 6 all time, comparable only to the Doctor, Jordan, and Vince Carter.

Steady Gettin' Blowed...

2005-06-30T17:31:00.000-04:00

Porno Rapper? Mattsoreal is straight clutch, the Bob Horry of this internerd/radio/magazine/party-promotion shit. Thanks to him, I can hit y'all off with this link to streaming audio of Devin the Dude live in Amsterdam. Same (short) set as NYC, so if you missed it here's yer chance, and if you were there, you can re-live it.

ATL On The Come-up

2005-06-29T10:36:00.000-04:00

+ +

NBA Draft. I'm not mad at ATL for picking up Marvin Williams and Salim Stoudamire. The Hawks are slowly becoming very athletic and even a little bit nasty. With the ATLien flying above the rim, Childress filling it up, Stoudamire raining 3s, Tyronn Lue running around like a 6 year old at a birthday party, and now Marvin doing his #2 draft pick thing, they'll at least be fun to watch. Now just trade Al Harrington for another point guard or a center and things will start to come together.

Plus the Hawks still have Royal Ivey...

who's going to be shutting folks down on D for years to come.

Questions:
What about these HS kids who declared and then didn't get taken until the 2nd Round? No guaranteed money means they might go to college for a year. I'd love to see CJ Miles at Texas and Louis Williams ("Allen Iverson with Vince Carter hops") at Georgia, but would they be better off in the re-tooled NBDL where they can make a little scratch and practice and play as much as they want without any NCAA restrictions?

Questionable:
NBA Draft fashion history.

Bucks Back?
TJ to Bogut? The little dude made Jason Klotz and James Thomas look all-world, imagine what he can do for the big ~~Sissie~~ Aussie. Now, who's gonna coach these guys?

??????:
This will keep you occupied for a few minutes. Honey gets stuck in some seriously compromising positions. I heard when you get to the end she takes her clothes off.

Finally:

Crizappy Caraminica

2005-06-27T14:56:00.000-04:00

Scratching my head here as to why exactly Jon Caramanica decided to put News Radio on blast in the New York Times.

News Radio was that comedy crack. Bill McNeal and Jimmy James are two of the funniest characters in sitcom history, and Andy Dick had his moments as well. Foley played the straight-man, so what?

Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor, Damn!

Oh yeah, Caramanica also wrote a piece on "Random Rap," I'm too mad to read it though.

It's Not Over

2005-06-24T22:58:00.000-04:00

While the NBA season is over for you regular folks, those of us lucky enough to be a part of the Beta test for Commisioner Stern's NBA 2.o, get year round entertainment. Right now as I type
I'm watching the 2.0 Dee-troit Pistons jump around in the locker room screaming, hollering and punching each other in the face while the sounds of Lil Weavah blast from the Palace sound-system. It's awesome. Chauncey is freaking the fuck out.

I would not fuck with the 2.0 Pistons...

Chauncey

Big Ben

Tay Tay

Darko

Roscoe

Now That's Entertainment

2005-06-24T16:04:00.000-04:00

SA in 7. I called it... way back in February. Sort of. I thought Manu would win the MVP. Instead he just dunked all over the Pistons, and delivered the best quote of the whole series.

"All the guys are hugging and kissing. I want to go hug!"

Thing is I didn't actually watch the game, not the version you saw at least. While you guys were nodding off to that defensive snoozefest, I was on the edge of my seat watching prime-time, superstar-driven action! I'm part of a Beta Test for Commisioner Stern's top-secret NBA 2.0 "Steven Bochco" project. It's a live (well, 30 second-delay) re-enactment of the game, only spiced up for more wholesome, family-friendly, Hollywood-style sports-entertainment!

Meet your 2005 NBA 2.0 Champions:

Coach Pop

Timmy D.

Big Shot Bob

Tony and Eva

and introducing Manu!

Get Down Big Momma

2005-06-23T17:22:00.000-04:00

Must have been all that Iron Butterfly...

Gulliest. Beauty Shop. Ever. These women are my new heros. Does it get any grimier than Shreveport?

Terry Porter got axed in Milwaukee. Dude was doing a good job with a thin, injury depleted, roster, so this has got to mean he had some serious disagreements with management over that #1 draft pick. I just hope whoever they bring in has TP's same love for TJ Ford.

Remember Dock Ellis, that dude who pitched a Major League no-hitter... on acid? Bro is even more gangsta than you thought.

NBA Finals Game 7 tonight. Who wants it?

It's All Downhill From Here

2005-06-22T14:37:00.000-04:00

I fear for the future of our nation.
A few of my reasons:

The good ones are going fast. When's the last time your Representative hand-wrote you a letter, showed up at your daddy's funeral, or did jack-shit to help the poor? RIP Jake.
Kids like this idiot are gonna be voting soon.
Something tells me this sissy doesn't get his ass kicked every day at school. He should. (Dude's parents need a prescription for this stuff, stat.)
This war shit is really getting out of hand. How long before every poorly educated, under-privileged, naive, 18 year old we have is over there with a leg blown off?
Back in Decatur we used to do stupid stuff like this all the time, only we could swim. And didn't live in the 3d world. RIP kid.
I admit it, I laughed my ass off at this Tom Cruise kills Oprah nonsense.

I missed the NBA Finals game last night, because I was busy rubbing shoulders with the rich and the famous at an event at the National Arts Club curated by my girl Alexa. I wore a tie! I tied it myself!

Clutch

2005-06-20T10:44:00.000-04:00

"
THe NBA needs to commision a statue of Robert Horry. Now.

34 years old. 5 titles. About to make it 6. 21 of the Spurs last 35 points, all in the last 20 minutes of the game. How many game-saving (and ultimately game-breaking) shots? Just about all of them, right? He saved Tim Duncan's ass, despite the big guy's vigilant quest to become the Nick Anderson of this year's NBA Finals.

This is ridiculous, but so was this dunk and the fact that 'Sheed didn't cover Big Shot Bob--you don't leave a guy with an AKA like that open with the game on the line--off the inbounds, so I guess it sort of makes sense. Just ask Bill Simmons.

Anybody else remember that game years ago when Horry was on the Rockets (it might even have been his rookie season) when he scored like 24 points, entirely on dunks? Dude has always had a flare for the dramatic.

Weaponized Hallucinogens

2005-06-18T11:04:00.000-04:00

Breathe in the smoke (pic stolen from The Stencil).

The new Batman movie is totally badass. Action-packed, dystopic, tripped out, and scary as Hell.

Bonus Texas 'Scrips:

ATX DJs NickNack, Starsign, and Chicken George (and BLAZE!) on PBS Downtown, edited by my invisible boy Fuckin' A.
Longhorn Basketball just snagged the #2 player in the country, Kevin Durant... as long as Stern implements that Age Limit that is. (2 entire Durant/Oak Hill games available here - reg. required.)
I'm stickin' to my guns; SA in 7, Manu MVP. We'll see. I don't think the D can play that well again (I'm looking at you Lindsey Hunter,) and I sure hope the Spurs can't continue to play that badly. SA's gotta figure out a way to beat that trap, benching Beno might be a good place to start.

Stevie Wonder

2005-06-14T21:11:00.000-04:00

Just killed it. The instrumental Nat'l Anthem is criminally slept-on. SA is getting slaughtered in the all-important pre-game entertainment category. If this series goes back to TX, they better drag Willie's ass away from those Dukes of Hazzard premiers and out to the game.

A Dose of Polittricks and World Events

2005-06-14T12:20:00.000-04:00

I gotta get a copy of this, my local deli's cheese selection is deplorable.

So I've been slacking on the political talk. No more. Well, some more. I don't have much to say here, but at least we can all be semi-well-read together.

Bye Bye Black Brooklyn 'Scrip:
Ibrahim's mom just got forced out of Ft. Greene, so he's putting gentrifiers on blast.

Bye Bye Brown Barrio 'Scrip
Speaking of gentrification, the good people left in whitey-fying East Austin, TX, have a protest going on.

World's Wildest Fucktard World Leader Videos 'Scrip:
I think I liked W better back when he was drinking. A drunk asshole is forgivable, a sober asshole is just a dick. (video clips)

Republicans Terrified About '08 'Scrip:
Right Wing Attack Machine On Crack.

Remember the Congo? 'Scrip:
Silly, there's no humanitarian crisis in the Congo.

He Who Smelt the Methane Ice Dealt the Methane Ice 'Scrip:
Bermuda Triangle explained? When the ocean farts, ships and planes go down.

Well It's High Time, Cymbaline

2005-06-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

Doctor Strange is always changing size.

Pink Floyd reunion is official. Now they just need to get Syd out there and things will really be popping off. I saw the Floyd with my square cousin back in '94 on some smokin' pot in the port-a-potty steez. It fucking rocked.

You See Meat and I See Murder 'Scrip:
Your favorite fruity rappers say, "Go Veg!" I think Ja Rule just hurts your cause, but Dick Gregory is my paranoid-genius-healthnut-revolutionary motherfucker! Word to 16 glasses of water a day!

Poodle Rockin' 'Scrip:
Triumph at the Micheal Jackson trial. Like booing at the Special Olympics.

Otto is Blotto 'Scrip:
Not that I can't sympathize just a little bit, but if this school-bus driver tried to pull this shit at my school he'd end up on the wrong end of a machete.

Great Shot Kid 'Scrip:
Is it dusty in here, or is this just a great story about a Secial Ed kid playing basketball?

Special Homesick All-ATL Prescriptions

2005-06-10T17:27:00.000-04:00

Original Purple City. Word to Smog.

All this NYC heat and humidity is making long for home, where it might be just as hot, but folks are friendly, there's a damn sight more trees, everybody's got AC, Skip Carey and the Braves are on the box, Waffle House on every corner, and you don't have to ask twice for a glass of ice-water at a restaurant.

Old Sweet Song:
Finally. Just Blaze, Luda and (Decatur's own) Field Mob remake "Georgia" (halfway down.) Heads are hating on this, but I think if you're from ATL you gotta love it like they "love that G-A red clay." Anybody remember how right before Channel 8 would go off the air in the middle of the night they'd play "Georgia" over landscape-footage of GA shot from a helicoptor?

No Cut-Up:
My crazy Uncle Perry used to have 18 cats. Now he only has one, but it's named Chipper. Perry is so ATL he bleeds Coca-Cola.

As Soon As They Release "The 'Nique," I'm On It:
ATL-themed fake Air Force 1s. 150$? Walter's has 'em for half that. Bet. (via Catchdubs, who once stole my Dip-school pic without giving me my propers, but I'll be a bigger man and remain polite, 'cause that's how my mama raised me. He's probably a fucking Yankee and can't help it he doesn't have manners once inadvertantly used my Dip-school pic and had the decency to come over here and explain as much.)

Is This The Line For The Beer Or For The Tickets To Get The Beer?:
Anybody else remember that time back in '88 that Whodini, MC Lyte, Slick Rick and Doug E Fresh, and Public Enemy all played at an outdoor show in At-lana? Oh. Right. That wasn't '88, it's this Sunday at the Music Midtown festival (107.9 stage). (David Banner, Slim Thug, Trillville, and Common might not be a bad show on Saturday either, just be sure to skip out before the Wack Eyed Peas play.)

Manu Ginobili

2005-06-09T23:58:00.000-04:00

That big-nosed Argentine is doing his best to make me look like a goddamn genius.

Big Shot Bob

2005-06-09T21:23:00.000-04:00

Infinitely preferable to Alanis, but Robert Horry's musical performance before the game was a little lackluster.

For the Thousandth Time

2005-06-09T21:07:00.000-04:00

Fuck Alanis Morrissette.

We're Gonna Boycott Your Fat Pasta Ass!

2005-06-09T20:11:00.000-04:00

It is officially hot enough now to throw a trashcan
through the window of Sal's Famous.

Don't worry. I've got your medicine right here. Welcome to the cool-out clinic.

Cool Off With Some Breezy Photos 'Scrip:

Amsterdam Devin pics. Why's it so hazy in there?
NYC Devin pics. Your good Doctor and the Pistol can be seen in the background of at least one of these snaps. Where is the one and only Pos Luv?

Cold Dead Hot Body 'Scrip:
Chloe Jones dead at 29. Cause unknown.

You Call This Hot? 'Scrip:
That ain't hot. The gyrating culo in this new Shakira video is hot.

Basehole

2005-06-07T21:21:00.000-04:00

I'm gonna start cross-posting my sports-related stuff over at baseblog. Check it.

Even Dwyane and Shaq

2005-06-07T07:11:00.000-04:00

Knocked the fuck back.

Which leaves us with
The NBA Finals:
vs.

ABC probably already has a hit out on the refs who let this small-market disaster happen. That's okay though, while they're gonna get beat in the ratings every night by Hell's Kitchen, we'll still be watching.

I love this match-up. Here's how I see it:

Billups dominates Tony Parker. He backs him down or shoots over him on Offense, and on D simply pushes him towards that killer Detroit help. Advantage: D
Tay Prince will give Manu fits. He's long and fast and a ball-hawk. I think they neutralize each other. No Advantage
Duncan gets his, but Big Ben (and McDyess and Grandpa Campbell) makes him work for it. Advantage: SA
Bowen makes Rip Hamilton his bitch just like he did to Jesus Shuttlesworth. Advantage: SA
Rasheed is quietly becoming a champion. Well quietly on the court, off-court, not so much. What's he on 6 gurantees in a row now? He continues to do it when it counts against Nazr. Advantage: D
Bench: Spurs have Big Shot Bob Horry, under-performing of late perennial Doc.Rob favorite Brent Barry, and the ghost of Rasho Nesterovic. Pistons run McDyess, no-show Arroyo, and Campbell at you. D's got fouls. Spurs got Bob. No Advatage
Coaches: This should be a push. Pop and Brown are two of the best in the business, but Brown is getting squirrelly again with this Cleveland jive. Gotta go with Poppa Zit here. Advantage: SA
Verdict: I'm not backing down now. SA in 7. Should be fun.

Bonus Beat the Heat 'Scrips:
When and if the King of Pop ends up noseless and buggered, rotting away in San Quentin, I am now OK with that. We've found a replacement.

I don't want to blow up anybody's spot (especially my own,) but if you're in NYC, I highly suggest you head up to Yankee Stadium tomorrow (Wednesday) at 6:30 for the High School Baseball City Championship game. 3d base side of the House that Ruth Built is gonna be poppin' off something fierce with drums, percussion, fly Dominican young ladies, and some heated Reggaeton chants.

RIP Victor.
iYeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah!

Killer Cork Weekend Prescriptions

2005-06-04T12:24:00.000-04:00

My friend Courtney will take your fucking head off

Best News In a While 'Scrip:
Chappelle's back?

Redsox Yes Homo 'Scrip:
I know plenty of kids up in the Bronx that would love to rock this Queer Eye rhinestoned-out PINK Redsox gear...

Dimesacks and Dubsacks all the way to O'z 'Scrip:
Ricky needs to get his weight up? I'd love to see Ricky tearin' up the league again next year, but I'd rather see him happy. Do YOU Ricky, fuck the Haters.

Still the Best Job in the World 'Scrip:
Paul Shirley took time off from his busy schedule of getting paid to do nothing. He was blogging the Playoffs.

Another Shitty Remake 'Scrip:
MTV Warriors... Come out and plaaaaay.

Who Needs Bartlett's 'Scrip:
Some dude is on a quest to collect every great Barkley utterance ever.

Not This Year.

2005-06-02T13:53:00.000-04:00

Black Jesus on ice.

Just like avone's tag, the Phoenix Suns logo...

is the same when you flip it upside down...

Cool, huh? But cool don't beat the Spurs. Amare is an unstoppable force. He'll be better than Timmy soon. Too bad his defense is so often non-existent.

More Suns matador D.

Steve and Dirk are probably getting blasted as we speak.

Is it too early to say I told you so?

Next Thing You're Broke

2005-06-02T11:06:00.000-04:00

Devin was a little disappointing. The Dude himself was dope--impressively charming, vocally skilled, and the selections were top notch--but he played for less than an hour, and someone let that Spankrock crew stay onstage way past the point of amusing. Even if I have seen your titties on the internets, I paid my $15+ to see Devin. Maybe it's just the broke-dick/southern-boy/working-man in me and I'm not cut out for this big-city hipster shit, but $15+ is a ticket-price not a cover charge. Anything is plenty man, shouts to Houston for bringing it, but I'd like a little more Dude for my Dollar.

Shut Up Boy

2005-05-31T23:48:00.000-04:00

Just like the Miami Heat, I might disappear for a day or two here. Devin the Dude is coming to town.

...chilled out fellow, smokin' out kindof dude.

Tomorrow I gotta get up early, go to work, come home, shake out the doobie ashtray, and get real breezy real fast, because I'm gonna be (along with every other blogger in NYC) in the LES wondering who that man onstage with his dick in his hand is. Don't expect much of a report unless something really wild goes down. There are plenty of other folks better equipped than I to deliver in that whole setlist/digi-pics of semi-celebrities area.

Flex.

2005-05-28T13:42:00.000-04:00

Although several unconfirmed reports say that's the Soup Nazi up there turning Salma Hayek out, our sources say it's actually Borat.

Charlie Gets His Fix

2005-05-28T12:07:00.000-04:00

What the fuck is the flying shit?

Great news for all you LOST junkies jonesing for next season. Oceanic-air.com appears to actually be made by the producers and features all kinds of hidden crazy tid-bits and cryptic hints and whatnot. Supposedly there's a way to bring up the seating chart for flight #815 and if you punch "the numbers" in order you get a teaser video for Season 2. Also you math obsessives need to check The Numbers, for all LOST/#s-related conspiracy/ heroin. Someone with a desk-job figure this shit out and report back.

Bonus Long Weekend 'Scrips:
My man John Inverse is just now getting his nolege-dropping blog on. I expect blig things.

Star Wars catches a bad one from Anthony Lane. Fucking hilarious. If, however, like me, you often lack sufficient attention span for the New Yorker, O-Dub runs down the highlights here.

Sleepnotwork is back.

This is Not a Photograph

2005-05-26T11:48:00.000-04:00

It's two screen-captures from the boob-tube.

Defense wins championships, the Suns do not.

Hurley! For godsakes! Put your shirt back on!

Bonus 'Scrips:
-Matt from Instant Replays on the Cubs' conspiracy to subtly undermine fan-support for pitcher Carlos Zambrano by spreading veiled hints about his debilitating porn addiction.

-Crying While Eating. The guy with the buckwheat noodles and the cat ("why is he crying? he ruined passover") is the best. Why is this so funny?

History Lesson

2005-05-25T22:11:00.000-04:00

I missed this last night...

Because I was at Lincoln Center watching "We Jam Econo," the Minutemen documentary.

Sasha Frere-Jones recently wrote on-line that that the movie's first five minutes are the saddest of any rock movie ever (he also used his platform at the New Yorker to promote the screening - causing my ass to have to wait outside in the freezing-ass pissy rain in the stand-by line for over an hour before I got in.)

Anyway, he's right. Although sad might not be the best word. I'd say more like poignant or bittersweet or something. (Then again, what do I know? I'm not the one writing at the New Yorker.) It's just so obvious what a beautiful person D. Boon was and what immense love Mike Watt had for him, and, to resort to cliche, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

The movie is a mix between all kinds of amazing archival live footage and dozens of recent interviews with everyone from old Pedro punks to the guy from Wire to Thurston Moore to a morbidly obese J. Mascis (whose mere appearance garnered the biggest laugh of the night), and of course - the centerpiece - Watt himself.

I can't recommend this movie enough. The makers were there and said a DVD should be out this fall (including a bonus disc with three entire live shows,) but see it in a theater if you get the chance. It's better loud.

Art? My Microscope Could Paint That.

2005-05-23T20:12:00.000-04:00

La Fin Du Monde under the 'scope

Spaten

Liberty Ale

As both a man of science and a barely functional alcoholic, I'm utterly engrossed by these microscopic views of beers from around the world.

I'm Always the Last to Know 'Scrip:
CAPS over at TheStencil.com is the hippest DJ/designer/blogger/Bills-fan in all of Brooklyn.
Don't They Know? 'Scrip:
This snarky list of early-entrants into the NBA draft is good for a chuckle or two.
Something You Don't Know 'Scrip:
My sources* inside the Dekalb County Court (that's pronounced "coat") House tell me Gucci Mane is in even more trouble than the press and others are letting on over this Young Jeezy-beef murder rap. The thing is, Gucci's self-defense story (that dudes ran up in the set-up girl's crib with guns and duct-tape and he had to do what he had to do) makes perfect sense until you take into account that the body was found, hidden, over two miles away.

*I'm serious. Ask me about TI's recent crackin'-some-guy-over-the-head-with-a-bottle-of -Crys appearance.

Short Shorts?

2005-05-22T14:41:00.000-04:00

Queensbridge's finest, in happier times (and longer shorts).

If it hadn't been for the brawl and the subsequent suspenisions (and injuries,) the Pacers would have won their division, beat the Pistons, and Reggie would still be running fools off of screen after screen, pushing off and nailing clutch Js. Too bad. I'll get over it, but it looks like Ron Artest isn't taking things quite as well. That's right, Ron Ron is off his meds again.

Bonus Worse Even Than Greg Anthony 'Scrip:
I don't know if this poor kid is illiterate or agoraphobic or on LSD or what, but he is by far the worst sports reporter in the history of television. Boom Goes the Dynamite!
Bonus Super-Focused On His Blog Grind 'Scrip:
I've been a big Chris Lemon-Red fan ever since he April Fools-ed everybody with some "New M.I.A. feat. David Banner!" jive, and the dude continues to regularly deliver the mp3 heat.

Shaq Theory: 1 Year Later

2005-05-21T15:03:00.000-04:00

Litterial Green meets the man he cannot jump over

On the eve of the start of the NBA Conference finals, I thought it might be a good time to revisit my Shaq theory, originally proposed last July when the news of Diesel to Miami first came out. Back then I wrote:

I like Shaquille O’Neal. Yeah sure, he commits an offensive foul every time he drops that big shoulder, and yeah, his rap career has been less than stellar (although heads are whispering that he’s winning this whole beef with Madd Skillz!) but the man is hilarious. Intentionally so. He’s witty, and cocky, and charming. His press conferences are always a treat. I hear all the time what an idiot he is, and I’m always astounded. Don’t people listen? I guess it’s because he looks dumb (it’s the close set, semi-crossed eyes,) which is unfortunate, but the man is 7’2”, ungodly strong, quick, clever and sitting on millions, so I guess you can’t have it all.

Shaq’s on the Heat now, where according to prevailing public opinion, his presence, along with rising star Dwayne Wade, makes them an immediate contender out of the East. It’s possible, and would be even more likely had they kept Lamar Odom, who last year finally played like we knew he could, I don’t know though. I don’t really buy the argument that Shaq will be more productive and better rested because there are no centers in the East. There aren’t any centers out West either. Ben Wallace, Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Jermaine O’Neil will put up as much (or as little) of a fight as did Yao, Garnett, Duncan and… wait who are these big men the West is supposedly so loaded with? Olowakandi? Divac? My point.

Shaq’s getting old, though, and more importantly he’s been fat for a while now. So does he dominate? Yeah sure. Will he be MVP dominant? Will he take the Heat to the Finals? Nope, not if he keeps doing what he’s been doing the last 5 or 6 years. He will, though, if he follows my simple plan.

1.Get in shape. A little bit at least. The Big Aristotle is still quick, but dude used to be fast. He can’t get that back completely, he’s 34, but he can sure as Hell improve on where he’s at right now. Remember when Shaq used to run the floor and actually jump up off of it...

besides to dunk? Like for rebounds and to block shots?

Which brings me my next points:

2.Rebound. Shaq should concentrate his game on two things. The first of which is owning the fucking boards, every inch of them. With his quickness, height and wide, wide ass, he could average 20 boards a game easily. That would translate to a ton of easy points, with putbacks and outlets, for him and his teammates. He does this you don’t even need to run plays for him and he’d still score 25 a night. Run a few through him, and he’s averaging 30+ a night, easy, with less minutes than he’s been playing.

3.The second area Shaq needs to focus on is defense. Own the fucking lane, Shaq. Shaq is capable of doing every thing Ben Wallace does only more-so, he’s significantly bigger, and just as quick. He should be blocking or changing every single lay-up attempted in his vicinity, no problem. Again this leads to easy buckets for his team.

That’s it. Simple huh? Lose weight. Rebound. Defend. If Shaq did those three things consistently, and he’s certainly capable, he’d crush the League nightly. He wouldn’t even have to look to score (like I said he’d get his points Moses Malone style, off the offensive glass, and off the break,) thought there’s no reason for him to stop looking to post-up either.

Acceptance of this theory leads us back to the Lakers, where, if Shaq had followed my simple advice, he and Kobe squash all beef over who’s getting shots and win every championship for the next 5 years.

Am I saying this Laker debacle is all the Big Man’s fault? No, not really. Kobe may or not be a rapist, but he’s definitely an asshole, and that had to affect Shaq’s willingness to adapt his game and compromise his stats. Phil Jackson had clearly given up on this last season sometime around the Mailman’s knee injury, which didn’t help either.

All of which means this Miami thing is the perfect opportunity for Shaq to trim down and truly dominate, Bill Russell style, like we all know he could.

Not that I'm Negrodamus...

or anything, but I'd say that was pretty damn prescient. Shaq did get in shape, and he did dominate away from the ball, and he did lead the Heat to best record in the East, and he didn't win the MVP. His stats for rebounds and blocks were down slightly, but he played less minutes, and there's really no way to quantify his defensive presence in the lane or the way he opens up the offense for Dwyane, Damon, Udonis and the rest of the Furious Five.

I expect him to have a little something to prove against Chauncey and them after that MVP controversy and his disappointing non-performance in the Wizz series.

Bonus 'Scrip
Listen in as Larry David tries to figure out Nate Newton, a man of appetites.

Obi-Wan Ginobili

2005-05-19T21:54:00.000-04:00

This is not the Tim Duncan Robot you are looking for.

Have I mentioned what a freaking Jedi-stud Manu Ginobili is?

Roll Another Number

2005-05-19T17:57:00.000-04:00

Willie Nelson's new record is a reggae-themed disc called Countryman, just like the badass Jamaican movie...

about these douchebag Americans drug-dealers who are being chased by the cops and get rescued by this super-mystical Rasta dude...

who kicks ass and controls lightning and catches fish with his bare-hands and rolls giant spliffs in his underwater cave.

Check out the the Redheaded Stranger's new cover-art:

Bonus Hydro Dank 'Scrip:
Beyonce in headband, Willie pigtails, and a tight little Willie Tee is a good look...

Woah Gotdamn!

P.A.T. International Jetsetter

2005-05-18T19:09:00.000-04:00

...but now it looks like when he come out man I'm goin in.

Gangsta:
Stephen Jackson is from Port Arthur, Texas, and like fellow Port Arthur natives UGK, the Underground Kingz, he lived in the game. Before slipping away to Prep-School/McDonalds-All-American-Breeding-Ground Oak Hill Acadamy,Steve was straight thuggin'. He skipped school. He sold that crack, or as Pimp C would spit it, "[his] boulders smolder[ed] on the PA pipes." He got a tatoo on his forearm of someone firing an automatic weapon. He claimed Blood, and still does so today.

Bonus Gangsta 'Scrips:
Darth Vader has a blog. It's better than you think.

Some diabetic kid with a blown knee who played a little IM ball at LSU has declared for the draft. Knowing the Hawks, they'll probably trade down with their lottery pick to take him.

Cereal Killer

2005-05-16T22:34:00.000-04:00

Go ahead, make fun of my man's Fruity Pebbles. Do it.

These Raekwon pics by Kenneth Cappello are pretty great. That machete photo reminds me of this ill crime scene.

Like Time-Cube for Hipsters

2005-05-14T09:57:00.000-04:00

Michael McDonald, Dipset-addiction specialist, travels the interinterent

I've spent all morning over at the best audio-blog ever downloading rare demos, mixtape cuts, and freestyle MPtrees, gleaning all kinds of mysticscientific knowledge, and fighting off seizure while peeping the vast array of informative-yet-disturbing animated gifs. If you are a fan of any or all things purple (Prince, Sizzurp, Dipset, these United States...) then 8+9+3 has that crack you need.

Also be sure to check Michael McDonald-Rehab approved 'Scrips:
Three For All a new basketball blog from Russ Bengston, former editor-in-chief at Slam.
Schizophrenic Tenant Number One from Emynd of the mighty Scrimp.

Jeff Foster Who?

2005-05-12T22:08:00.000-04:00

14 pts. 20 boards. Southwest Texas State represent.

Friends. Rivals. Boozehounds.

2005-05-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

Now that's what I call a "gameface." Lousy drunks.

Let's Start Calling the Heat the "Furious Five"

2005-05-11T21:49:00.000-04:00

This new Dwyane Wade/Grandmaster Flash Converse commercial is a great idea. If Michael Chabon or Robert Rodriguez had been in on it, it would have been genuis.

Cum Fly With Me?

2005-05-10T18:16:00.000-04:00

I thought #23 played outfield when he was trying his hand at minor league ball; apparently he's a pitcher. You best believe Sir Charles demanded reciprocation though - in the form of a Round Mound Reach Around.

Click here for a bigger image of the hot egomaniacal-gambling-addict-on-fat-drunk-guy action:

That's right, Michael Jordan was freaking Charles Barkley on top of a table at a dance club in Vegas. Spanking was involved.

Right About Now NWA Court is in Full Effect

2005-05-09T21:08:00.000-04:00

Dr. Robert presiding.

After y'all are done proving how efil4zaggin you are by taking this NWA quiz (I missed three - "[I] must be straight outta Compton,) and after you've downloaded some of these hot shit "explicit only" NWA mp3s, then and only then will you be truly prepared for the magic that is the muppets doing "Fuck tha Police."

The Man Don't Sweat

2005-05-04T19:08:00.000-04:00

Inspired by this incredible blog, which sets out to prove - in a wonderfully purple prose - that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to Allen Iverson, I have put in writing my own AI story. It is the God's honest truth as reported by my mans Smith, Phil and Paul, one of whom was there, and neither of whom are liars.

***

I have a friend who played AAU ball with AI's club (though AI was slightly older and on a different team) back in VA. This friend of mine was a country boy, and honed his game in his back yard, alone, far out on VA's isolated Eastern Shore.

AI's high-school exploits were local legend. He showed up to every game late - cool, calm, and collected after cheefing out in his car in the parking lot. He began every game by stealing the ball from the opposing point guard, taking a couple of dribbles, and unleashing a thunderous dunk. He did this for the first few possessions of the game, and then, point made, refrained from playing defense of any sort for the rest of the contest, which he continued to dominate, due mostly to the fact that he was faster than everyone else - even when cruising around the court at half-speed. Once he deemed his team's lead insurmountable and grew bored he would proceed, to the crowd's delight and his coach's eternal consternation, to put on a dunk exhibition (windmills, 360s, etc...) on his own basket until he was finally removed from the game.

It must also be noted that in these games, as in his NBA games today in which he must exert a great deal more effort, AI does not sweat. Check it out next time you’re watching TNT. 48 minutes, OT, it matters not. Not a drop of perspiration may be seen on The Answer’s serious visage nor his slender, tattooed, frame.

My friend witnessed these exploits, and saw talented defender after talented defender get burned effortlessly by AI and his unreal speed. Out there alone on the Eastern Shore practicing for hours on end, my friend fantasized about guarding AI, about being the guy that would stay in front of him, about shutting The Answer down.

One day at AAU practice he got his chance. My friend’s team was scrimmaging with AI’s older squad, both young men were on the court, and Allen came off a pick at the top of the key and my friend rotated over to guard him. It was just like he had envisioned. AI dribbled at the top of the circle. My friend clapped his hands, bent his knees low, bounced on his toes, and concentrated on AI’s belt-buckle. He would not be mislead by fancy dribbles, jabsteps, or fakes of the ball or head. He would not be beaten.

AI continued to dribble. My friend continued to intensely maintain his textbook defensive stance. AI hesitated. AI crossed over. Bamf. AI disappeared. He did not “blow by” my friend. Nor did he “fake him out” or “beat him off the dribble.” He straight up ceased to exist and then reappeared at the rim laying it high off the glass over some poor big man foolish enough to jump.

My friend’s fantasy was not to be, but he was not ashamed. How could he be? He was but a man, AI was something else entirely.

Sadistic Challenge. Accepted. Accomplished.

2005-05-03T22:43:00.000-04:00

A while back I accepted Adam's Sadistic Challenge. I wrote a poem about a drag-race. It stars a greasy asshole, a sweet little GA peach, and my man Howard, the only real Southern drag-racer I know. Shafer has it here.

"Backboard."

2005-05-02T21:35:00.000-04:00

This can't be real, but it's still cool as fuck. Better even than that Jordan vs. Bird "H.O.R.S.E." commercial. The deck-flip is a nice touch.

fi5e

2005-04-29T22:45:00.000-04:00

fi5e, whose brain does not work like other brains, has a blog. I'm glad he likes "jesus saves"

(and wish I'd been around to see that projected 100 feet tall,) that guy may be the most "up" writer in the city. He's everywhere, as this other video begins to show. I've often wondered whether there might be a team of Jesus freaks, somehow trained to exactly duplicate the letter styles, crawling and scrawling all over the city in the dark and cold.

Playoffs

2005-04-26T18:14:00.000-04:00

This should be fun.

You Can't Stop Ron Mexico

2005-04-05T21:00:00.000-04:00

You can only hope to contain him. Some worthless skeeze is suing Michael Vick for allegedly giving her Herpes. It's all pretty standard except for one minor detail; she accuses Vick of going by the alias "Ron Mexico" when, among other things, seeking treatment for his shameful simplex. After this pays this girl her hush money, he really ought to bust out a “Mexico” throwback. I’m sure Mitchell & Ness is already on the case.

I Miss[ed] You

2005-04-05T20:18:00.000-04:00

S/FJ on Slint. I probably should have gone to one of those shows at Irving Plaza, but after the disappointing geekfest of the Mission of Burma reunion this summer at Coney Island, I was wary. Sasha confirms all my worst fears, but it sounds like I could have snuck out after the opening number and left fully satiated.

Watch the ATLien Rise

2005-03-28T17:21:00.000-05:00

I don't know what's better about this Josh Smith Highlight Mix (to the tune of Game,) the devastating block where he looks like he might break Dirk's back, or the way original T-Rex Kevin Willis imparts wisdom on the talented young kid.

In the Kitchen

2005-03-21T00:07:00.000-05:00

I hope I never have the misfortune of eating at the restaurant that is the setting for R Kelly's latest work of genius (his finest since "Rubbin' On Your Booty").

Props

2005-03-21T00:03:00.000-05:00

This is a very difficult shot in an extremely high pressure situation.

Eat at Yao's

2005-03-08T20:33:00.000-05:00

Patrick Ewing and Dikembe Mutombo eat dinner with Yao Ming at Yao's new Houston eatery. Hilarity ensues.

Here's a little sample:
EWING: How many languages do you speak, seven?

MUTOMBO: I speak Ebonics now, so eight. Yao, do you speak Ebonics? [Yao shrugs.]

Mutombo's cellphone rings. The ring tone is 50 Cent's In Da Club.

Good Lookin' Out, Tewwy Gwoss

2005-03-08T18:49:00.000-05:00

RZA on Fresh Air, and TG doesn't even condescend like she did to Lee Perry.

R. Diggs on Prokofiev: "When the woof came, he thwew on the twombones."

If They Mated

2005-02-27T22:34:00.000-05:00

Gi-no-bli!

2005-02-27T19:22:00.000-05:00

I love this guy's game. He's got Tay Prince's ability to get to the rim from the arc with 1 dribble, can move side-to-side while going full speed ahead, isn't afraid to take it straight at Shaq, and is the prettiest finisher in the league.

When SA wins the championship this year, don't be surprised if he's the series MVP.